When you’re at the end of yourself

Viki Taylor, 2nd May 2018
Tags: Life Blog Challenges Father God Jesus Parents Stress

Money was short, stress levels were high, and Christmas was just around the corner. I turned to my mum and said "well, at least you’ve still got your health."

I’m ever the optimist.

I was blissfully unaware that only a couple of months later, my mum would be diagnosed with skin cancer.

I was blissfully unaware that only a couple of months later, my mum would be diagnosed with skin cancer. Caught early, great prognosis, but still, skin cancer.

I realised that everything I was holding on to and putting my trust in, could be taken away.

It was in those moments that I realised that everything I was holding on to and putting my trust in, could be taken away.

Financial security no longer felt so secure.

Christmas no longer felt joyful.

Full health was no longer the reality.

It led me to ask the question, when you’ve got to the end of yourself, what can you put your trust in?

A mum’s diagnosis and financial struggles could place me at a crossroads. Behind me, anger, doubt, and confusion as to why this is happening to me. In front of me, peace in the unstable, love beyond measure, and understanding from God, the ultimate Dad.

It’s a battle between walking two steps forward and one step back, trusting, but questioning, and that’s okay, as long as I keep moving forward.

In Tim Keller’s book ‘Prayer’, he reveals how when he and his wife were faced with a cancer diagnosis, they had no choice but to pray. Why? Because when you get to the end of yourself, you can’t help but turn to something else. There is simply no other option.

I’m a firm believer that everyone has a faith, just what our faith is in is up for debate.

I’m a firm believer that everyone has a faith, just what our faith is in is up for debate. Some have faith in karma, some have faith in the universe, some have faith in other people, some have faith in financial security, some have faith in themselves, and some have faith in other religions.

I have faith in Jesus.

Why is he any better than any of the other options above?

Because Jesus gets it.

He knows what it’s like to be in lack, to be without, and to deal with sickness. Not only that, but he knows what it’s like to be in relationship with the Father, to live joyfully and abundantly, and to heal.

I like to put my trust in someone worth trusting. Someone who can empathise and understand because they’ve already walked the same road themselves. Someone who has proved himself time and time again, even when I’m unsure and have a million questions.

I don’t trust Jesus because I’m a wishful thinker, or naive. I trust Jesus because his track record is trustworthy.

I don’t trust Jesus because I’m a wishful thinker, or naive. I trust Jesus because his track record is trustworthy. I know I’m in good hands with him.

If you are struggling and have got to the end of yourself, and have more questions than answers, or need someone to hold on to that understands your story, Jesus gets it. 

It’s when we get to the end of ourselves that we realise our need for a Saviour, and that his power works best in our weakness.