Married at first sight
Alice Tomkinson,
17th Mar 2018
Tags:
Life
Blog
Love
Relationships
Science
'Married at First Sight', potentially one of the strangest concepts I have ever seen, and yet here I am, binge watching yet another series.
Incase you haven’t seen this enthralling, ridiculous show before, the idea is simple, ‘what it says on the tin’. A man and a woman marry one another, as complete strangers. That’s it.
This couple put all their trust in science; not faith, not freewill, and not choice. They trust some of the country’s biggest experts in their particular field, tell their terrified family members the news, and show up on the day, hoping to find their soulmate and live ‘happily ever after’.
A few things fascinate me about this concept:
How can every person who walks down that aisle, genuinely assume the hard work is saying yes, and everything else will flow smoothly?
Firstly, how can every person who walks down that aisle, genuinely assume the hard work is saying yes, and everything else will flow smoothly?
They seem to have this anxious voice in their head saying “maybe there will be a spark; maybe there will be a proper connection; maybe they will be the ‘one’.” And then they spend the entire honeymoon questioning “is there a spark?! Is this right? Am I doing the right thing? Do I love them?!”
And so, probably not to your surprise, the terrified, unsettled and regretful couples are visited by one of the scientific experts, explaining to them exactly why science put them together:
"You were our biggest match out of all the other couples.”
“Why?” they ask worryingly.
“Well, because your toe nail clippings, DNA, face symmetry, hobbies, interests, dreams and height all match!”
And so they sit there and ask the dreaded question they never wanted to ask, “Well then, why isn’t this working?!”
As wonderful and life-changing as science is, it can’t change emotions, and can’t control your happy ever after.
And there’s your answer, right in that conversation. Because as wonderful and life-changing as science is, no matter how much your toil nails match and the size of your nose, it can’t change emotions, and can’t control your happy ever after. It cannot give faith to a person without choice.
This week, we awoke to the sad news that Stephen Hawkins had passed away. A man who will forever be in our history books as one of the most profoundly intelligent scientists that lived on earth.
He discovered parts of the universe that scientists only dreamt of finding. He worked out the most complex formulas, and even with his horrendously life-changing illness, he managed to break the odds, living decades longer than the doctors predicted, and change the world.
'The Theory of Everything' is a movie that will stay with me forever, in other words, I cried like a baby!
Seeing the fight he and his ex-wife went through was heart-warming, and at times, heart-breaking. And yet, despite his incredible scientific breakthroughs (I mean this guy was insane!) he still didn’t discover the theory of faith…no formula, textbook or equation can solve this most vital part of our existence.
In an interview with Stephen Hawkins, he said this, “I have solved many theories and formulas, and yet I still cannot work out the complexity of a woman.”
In an interview with Stephen Hawkins, he said this, “I have solved many theories and formulas, and yet I still cannot work out the complexity of a woman.”
You see, what Stephen (can I call him that?) hadn’t figured out, and neither have these Married at First Sight ‘experts’, is how to work with a human soul, and what a human soul needs to truly be alive.
I’m no scientist, as you have probably figured out by now, but I am a Christian. Not because I like the tradition, or the concept of it, or the horrendously cheesy songs that play every week at church. No, I am a believer in God because of how it has changed my heart, soul and mind, in ways I never thought it could.
I have faith, something no scientist or doctor can take away from me. And even when life feels like the walls are caving in around me, I believe in a God that works all things together for my good.
That doesn’t make me weak, boring, or ignorant, it actually makes me completely alive.
I don’t see life as one big formula I need to get right every day in order to earn my place on earth. If that was the case I would have failed a long time ago.
I see life as a canvas, where I can choose what colours, stories and paths I paint onto it.
I see life as a canvas, where I can choose what colours, stories and paths I paint onto it. My canvas is my choice, for me to decide, and ultimately has God’s stamp of approval on it.
Parts of my canvas have memories and choices that I want to erase, that I regret or that I would like to do better, but that’s why I have faith - faith in a God that washes away the parts that don’t belong there.
You see, this is the whole point of faith. You can’t get an equation and figure it out.
You see, this is the whole point of faith. You can’t get an equation and figure it out. You have to trust it, ride with it, and choose it. You have to let it impact your decisions and future.
So yes to science, to how it impacts and changes our environment for the better. Yes to the text books and equations and test labs, but yes to faith, even when it feels a million miles away and even if it’s as small as a mustard seed.
