How I Knew I Found The One

Image Credit: Gabby Orcutt on Unsplash

Grace Stanhope, 25th Aug 2022
Tags: Life Blog Love Relationships Romance

Growing up, I always wanted to know how it felt to find the one. Is love at first sight a real thing? Would I get the overwhelming feeling of certainty? Would it feel like it looks in the movies?

In 2020, I fell in love with Josh. He’s kind, generous, encouraging, supportive and handsome. He makes me belly-laugh, he’s my best friend - and that’s really just scraping the surface when I describe Josh, who is now my husband.

When Josh and I started our relationship, I knew he was the one I would marry. So I want to share with you a bit of our story and how I knew he was going to be my husband.

Whether you’re in a relationship and wondering whether he/she is 'the one', or even if you’re single and wondering what the future holds, I want to share with you my advice, and our story, to encourage you.

Preparing to be “The One”
I remember watching the below video by Jefferson Bethke (go ahead and watch it) where he discusses how to know if someone is the one. 

He flips the question on its head a bit, and points out that if we focus on finding the one, we need to be preparing ourselves into being the one. So it starts with us. 

As a Christian, I have experienced the love of Jesus and his kindness and gentleness towards me. I want to become more like him so I can reflect those attributes in my relationship with Josh.

Compatibility
Myself and Josh talked about the future right from the start of our relationship. We talked about what we wanted in life; our career ambitions, where we wanted to live, whether we wanted children, our hopes and dreams...and everything else in between.

Looking back, I’m so glad we spoke about those things early on; it meant that from the beginning, we knew that we wanted similar things. 

It’s very difficult to be in a relationship with someone who has different hopes and dreams for the future, or even holds completely different views. You might be able to make it work for a while, but later down the line things might prove a little more difficult.

Friends & Family On Board
Do your loved ones say how lovely your significant other is, or are they telling you that you could do so much better? If you have people around you that you love, trust and who have your best interests at heart, take note of what they’re saying. I think if someone is the one, your loved ones may spot it too, and therefore should be able to give a resounding seal of approval!

Don’t look for “Mr or Mrs Right”
It’s important to remember that no person is perfect. If you go into a relationship with a check-list of attributes, characteristics and mannerisms that the other needs to fulfil, you’ll only end up disappointed. 

Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to not settle on things that are non-negotiable for you, so for sure make sure your person is kind, respectful, supportive and loving. But if (for example) their height is different to what you envisioned for your future spouse, don’t let it put you off!

What does God say?

When praying in those early days as to whether Josh was ‘the one’, I felt a real sense of peace. As a Christian, I believe this peace came from God. He filled my heart with certainty, and this was my confirmation alongside the incredible person that Josh is. 

I encourage you to invite God into your situation and seek his guidance…He will show you!

There is no rush to find your person. Focus on becoming ‘the one’ before you start searching, and God will guide you along the journey.