Choosing an attitude of gratitude
Joy Attmore,
6th Dec 2018
Tags:
Life
Blog
Forgiveness
Friendship
Gratitude
I was walking into church a couple of weeks ago when I saw two friends who I had been trying to hang out with for the last few months. Every time we talked there were lots of smiles, pleasantries, and empty promises uttered as they said how much they wanted to see me and yet consistently didn’t follow through.
I smiled as we passed each other, happy to leave the conversation at a warm hello rather than entering into an exchange that was just for the sake of politeness. One of my friends then turned back around as I passed him and said, “We can’t wait to hang out with you and Phillip before you leave!”
Let me give you a little more context for this conversation. Phillip and I are normally based in New York City but this past year we have found ourselves moving around quite a bit. We spent our summer in Liverpool, England where my family's from, and then in September went to LA to be with Phillip’s family for the remainder of the year. The conversation with my friends outside church took place in LA, the day before we were leaving to move back to New York, after four months of this same dialogue.
There’s a difference between having grace for those moments and realising that someone just doesn’t value or prioritise your time as much as their own.
I’ll be one of the first to say that life can run away with me sometimes. It’s hard to remember to do everything and be everywhere. I get it wrong and let people down as much as the person next to me, but I always try to be real about it.
There’s a difference between having grace for those moments and realising that someone just doesn’t value or prioritise your time as much as their own. To me it felt fake and made me just a little ticked off.
This might seem to be a bit of a ridiculous thing to get my knickers in a twist over, but nevertheless, and rightly or wrongly, it had gotten under my skin and I spent the next few hours feeling angry at these people that I had felt slighted by.
Maybe there’s a scenario that's coming to mind for you also, where a friendship dynamic has left you feeling hurt, exposed or unloved?
Sadly, when doing life with imperfect people it happens to all of us from time to time and, if we’re not careful, can leave us relationally and emotionally paralysed.
As I kept going I literally felt the hardness of my heart begin to dissolve, and every trace of anger being replaced with deep and genuine joy.
I spent a few hours that Sunday in paralysis until I had a moment when I decided to speak out all of the things that I was thankful for.
I began vocalising everything that I was grateful to God for, from the colour of the sky that evening to the financial provision we had received that week.
As I kept going, I literally felt the hardness of my heart begin to dissolve, and every trace of anger being replaced with deep and genuine joy. I then felt able to thank God for my two friends, speaking their names out into the cool Californian air and blessing them and their families.
It was a moment of such sweet and simple turnaround!
The result of that day was that I decided I was going to change and that this new year would be ‘The Year of Thankfulness’ in our household. I am choosing to declare all that I am thankful for, and you know what? So far it has been life changing!
Gratitude allows us second chances at joy...
As C. JoyBell C. said: "The very joyful thing about seeing ourselves and life from a place of gratitude instead of entitlement— is that this way of breathing allows us to be forgiving of difficult circumstances in life and of those people who delivered such difficult circumstances to us. Gratitude allows us second chances at joy; not with the same circumstances or those same people; but it alleviates the burden of bitterness that comes with not receiving what one believes he/she was entitled to have. We can instead look forward into life and see that there will be many good things and we will be grateful for them."
Take a moment and stir up the gratitude within you.
However sweet or challenging things might currently be in your relationships, I encourage you to take a moment and stir up the gratitude within you. I think you just might be amazed at how clearly you’ll be able to see again.
